Dating Reviews For The Best Dating Sites of 2024
An honest review of all dating apps!
An honest review of all dating apps!
Okay gals — if you’ve followed my dating site reviews up to now you know I’ve tried everything from mainstream popular dating sites to arrangements and “dating up,” but I wanted to get a feel for what sites like Fetster had to offer on the kinky side of things. 👀
I’d say I have a v. open mind, so why not explore something new? I talked to some of my girlfriends (who also – if you haven’t been here a while – convinced me to try sugar daddy dating sites) and they were all interested to know what the deal was with sites like Fetster.com and other SpiCy ones. Obvi I was the one who decided to dive in and report back.
I will say, I’m not sure exactly what I expected… but Fetster was certainly different from previous dating sites I explored. I’ve got a lot to cover, so hang with me, pour a glass of your fave bevvy, and let’s get to my Fetster review!
Okayyyyy, this is my first time checking out dating sites like this (and maybe yours?!) so exactly what is Fetster?
The first place I stopped was the “About Us” page to see how Fetster.com describes themselves. They say Fetster is “a BDSM, Kink and alternative dating site” followed by a lengthy list of things they’re not (like a spot for people selling things, a place for married people looking for an affair, etc.). What I liked about this is they really laid it all out on the table right up front. I knew what I was looking at and what to expect from other Fetster.com members. Not too shabby.
I appreciate that Fetster focuses on being a spot for the BDSM/kink community to come together and meet other people who are looking for the same kind of things. Nothing is more discouraging than being on a dating site that’s super broad, and not being sure who is into what you are until sliding in their DMs.
It also looks like it’s partly focused on being a place for people to learn about different kinks and the community, too! We love a community that’s open to others who are curious. That’s perf for me. I didn’t feel like I was an outsider barging in on someone else’s niche, and it felt like a safe space to explore!
If I was gonna put myself in a situation that requires a lot of trust, I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable about the site I met them on or wonder if it was a legit connection. I’d come across a few Fetster review pages saying some not-so-nice things about the site, butttt I can’t say I agree with them.
One thing I did notice though – there weren’t a lot of security measures in place during the Fetster login or sign up process, so I was worried those other Fetster review posts would be right. There were some profiles that contacted me and seemed kinda shady, but those felt really easy to notice. It’s like they weren’t even trying to hide it! Or maybe I’m just a smarty pants. We’ll go with that option, lol.
For every spam profile or bot that I came across, I found way more that were legit. I think that’s because Fetster.com urges you to report it if something feels off on every profile. This starts a whole process of having them verify themselves and scrubs a lot of the spammers and bots off the site, but more on that later! It does seem like Fetster takes fakes seriously:
Fetster might sound like a lot to take in, so lemme give you the tl;dr version of my experience before I get more into specifics:
Setting up an account on Fetster.com: Getting started on the Fetster BDSM and kink dating site was really easy. No, it doesn’t have a flashy homepage or much to keep spammers or bots out, but the signup process was just one long page instead of endless pages of questions like some other sites I’ve tried. Be ready though — it’s a long page and provides a lot of insight into what you might find on Fetster.com. Truthfully though, I appreciate that as someone who was here to explore and see about trying new things.
How to delete Fetster account: Deleting a Fetster.com account isn’t as easy as it is on other sites. Instead of being in a more intuitive spot, I had to hunt down where to go in order to find the option to delete it. You’ll have to go to “Edit Profile” and scroll to the bottom. That’s where you’ll find a button that lets you delete your Fetster account in two clicks.
Can I temporarily deactivate my Fetster account?: Deleting your Fetster account (once you find the button) is easy, but they don’t give you the choice to simply deactivate your account. That said, it appears from my perusal of Fetster.com and other Fetster review posts that they don’t delete inactive accounts, either. So if you’re unsure you want to be on there, you could just take down your profile pic and let your account sit there until you want to use it again.
Hiding and unhiding Fetster BDSM dating profile: While you can’t deactivate your Fetster dating profile, you can go to “My Preferences” and change permissions under the Privacy tab. They’ve provided you with options of “Everyone,” “My Friends,” or “Only Me” for almost every aspect of the site (profile, friends, your blog posts, links, videos, etc.). I was surprised by the control you get over visibility when everything else on the site seemed so basic at first glance.
Is Fetster free?: It is! In fact, this is one of the only dating sites I’ve ever seen that is truly 100% free. There’s not even a paid option available!
Fetster.com profile verification: There’s not a lot of verification during the Fetster login or sign up process, but there are options available that made me feel more at ease trying out something so new to me! First, they continuously encourage you to report any account that seems sus, which forces them through a verification process. You can also choose to get your account verified on your own by following the steps listed under “Verified Users” in the top navigation link section of every page on the site. Doing that gives you a verified marker on your avatar that shows other people you’re too legit to quit!
I also noticed this at the bottom of a lot of profiles – it seems to be required depending on the state/location?? Looks like it’s there to remind you that they don’t do background verification on profiles so it’s up to you to be cautious. I couldn’t fit it into the screenshot above, but it was there when I scrolled!
Like I said a few times before, the Fetster BDSM and kink site is pretty basic compared to a lot of other dating sites I’ve tried. So what about a Fetster app?!
Unfortunately for us, there’s no Fetster app to be found! Seems to be a theme with some of the kink dating sites. I suspect this has a lot to do with it being a completely free site for users?? Also, it’s unconventional and doubles as a sort of community board and education center, so I think they’ve just decided it’s better as a website only for lots of keyword time— no Fetster app needed.
Still hanging in there with me? 😉(Please tell me my puns are coming through!!) Let’s keep going and dive deeper in my Fetster review to show you what the sign up process is like.
(spoiler alert: it was waaaay easier than some other dating sites I’ve tried!)
I’m all about an easy sign up and login process, but even I was surprised by how easy it was to create a Fetster account!
Full honesty: I didn’t loooove the Fetster.com homepage. It was super easy to follow but there’s so much text on it and a few broken links that didn’t give off the best first impression. And y'all know how big I am on aesthetics and first impressions!! I can see why other Fetster review posts I’d seen thought it was a bit shady.
What I did like was that right there on the homepage they have a whole section on why you should join Fetster.com and the first one is that it’s free forever. WE LOVE FREE. Sold!
So, ignoring the first broken link at the top of the page, I clicked the “Sign up now!” link under the homepage image and it took me to the right spot. Because it was just one long sign up page, I’ve broken it down into groupings to make it easier to follow!
Accept cookies: First thing on the Fetster signup page is their disclaimer about site cookies that you have to accept in order to join. 🍪
Location: This was the weirdest part of the whole Fetster signup process, IMO! I’m used to filling out my location, but almost everywhere just uses dropdown boxes. Fetster.com makes you type in your country, state, and city without abbreviations. I was fine, but my thought was what about typos or people who just suck at spelling? 🤷♀️
Email, password, name, and gender: Pretty straightforward here, bbs! Fetster had me give them my email, choose a password, my real name, and gender. What I liked about this was that they offered so many gender options, which felt as inclusive as it should be for a BDSM and kink site.
Sexuality, identity, and relationship status: Suddenly Fetster believes in dropdown boxes!? I still think it’s weird I had to type in my state and all that, buuuuut moving on! Here, they gave me a ton of options for sexuality, how I identify, and relationship status. It also felt inclusive, just like with the options for gender.
Seeking: K so, we’ve moved away from dropdown boxes again and back to checkboxes so you can check off ALL THE THINGS. I like keeping an open mind so I appreciated that they made it easy with an “It’s all good” option right at the top.
Here for: I admit this one felt a lil’ redundant to the section right before it, but I was impressed that they included an option for “Learning about BDSM.” That made it feel welcoming to someone like me who was checking out Fetster for the first time and maybe didn’t have a ton of experience with this style of dating!
Referral and age confirmation: Next, they obvi were curious how I found Fetster. I lol’d to myself a little that they had MySpace on the list, which kinda tracked with the outdated look of the site and also lends to the age ranges! I filled it out, and on to the next.
How you look and personal details: Back to dropdown boxes! Fetster might only have one page of questions, but it’s a lengthy list. Still shorter than some others tho! This section asked about how I look, what I do, and some of my social habits like smoking or drinking (as I sit here with a glass of wine!). They also asked if I’d be willing to relocate, which I could only assume was part of what some people were looking for given the lifestyle options available in the “Seeking” section.
Legal stuff: This part was the typical legal-ese about rules and terms of service! As I mentioned before, I actually do read these. I clicked “Yes” and on to the next!
Profile pic and CAPTCHA: Finally, I got to the part where I get to show who I am! Fetster is a BDSM and kink app and admittedly I don’t have any super spicy pics, so I texted my girlfriends to help me choose one that I didn’t look really boring in.
There’s not a lot of verification steps during the Fetster login and signup process, but at least there was a CAPTCHA. Some of the variations were practically riddles and I legit had to think of the answer to it before I could move forward — so that was…different. (At least it wasn’t a visual CAPTCHA where I had to sweat about which part of the image was still considered a crosswalk tho!)
That was it! Interestingly, I didn’t have to go click some verification email to get started from there. Instead, they put up a message saying they’d verify my account and give me access soon. It only took about 15 minutes, which was pretty quick. 🤔
How does Fetster work once you’re logged in?
So now that I was past the Fetster login and sign up stuff, I was ready to see how it worked. To be honest, the site is super simple but there’s not a lot of direction on where to go to look at things!
You can go up to your profile name in the top right corner to change things like your privacy settings and see what your profile looks like to other people. You can also check out featured profiles based on who’s online, nearly, and the usual stuff like that. It was pretty straightforward and I started getting messages from other users pretty fast!
Fetster.com is one of the rare dating sites that’s actually free, so there’s no premium Fetster search features hidden behind a paywall. That said, for how basic the site is overall, I was really impressed with how thorough their search options are!
The Fetster search page lets you pick from all kinds of filters like…
The Fetster search options were basically everything you could choose from when you were setting up your own profile. I felt like this was super convenient because it helps if you’re looking for a very specific kink, fetish, or lifestyle. FWIW, the search feature on Fetster could teach some other dating sites a thing or two!
Pretty simple, tbh. You can view all the info they put in (like the stuff you filled out), block them, add them as a friend, send them a private message, view their pics, etc.
I also noticed this at the bottom of a lot of profiles – it seems to be required depending on the state/location?? Looks like it’s there to remind you that they don’t do background verification on profiles so it’s up to you to be cautious. I couldn’t fit it into the screenshot above, but it was there when I scrolled!
Right there on the homepage it said that Fetster was free now and forever, but I kept waiting for the catch. Turns out — there isn’t one!! Fetster is absolutely free for everyone and doesn’t even have a premium membership option. You wanna try a feature out? It’s available to you!
Since Fetsters is entirely free, all its features are available to you without needing to pay for them! Yessss. But what does that mean you can do on the site!? Lemme break down what I was able to do without pulling out my wallet:
Tbh, I’m still shocked that everything on this site is free. I’m so used to having to whip out that credit card to use certain features on dating sites, but Fetster really followed through when they said it was free!
K so obvi one of the biggest differences between Fetster and other dating sites is that it’s not a traditional spot for finding love. That doesn’t mean you can’t though! The Fetster BDSM, kink, and alternative lifestyle site is tailored to people in that niche and does a great job of it.
But what about ways it compares with other sites? Some of the things I thought make Fetster unique are:
There's plenty to enjoy at Fetster.com, but what are the things that weren’t so hot? Let's get into it.
Not having a ton of knowledge about the BDSM and kink communities, there was plenty I liked as I was putting together my Fetster review. Some of the things I enjoyed are:
As much fun as I had checking out something new, Fetster had some stuff I wasn’t wild about. Some of the things that didn’t really do it for me as I put together my Fetster review were:
For having some of my first little dips into the kinky side of dating this year, Fetster felt like an inclusive place to start. I wasn’t totally sure what to expect while I made my Fetster review, but I was happy to report back to my girlfriends and give them the deets!
Fetster.com isn’t a seedy back-alley dating site. It’s a place for people with similar interests, kinks, and lifestyles to meet. I think that’s super cool and had some very interesting convos with a few hotties that were super nice, while introducing some new ideas to me. Who knows what I might end up trying!? 😈
An easy sign-up process and bring completely free (I’ll never get enough of that part) makes this Fetster review a win in my book. Is it the first place I might’ve thought of to find a bf or gf? Probably not. But! It has a lot of potential, especially for this niche, and I’m excited to keep exploring. Hopefully they update the site a little over time, but it’s not too bad for now!
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