I was explaining to my friend how much I loved the sugar daddy scene, when she raved about her own lifestyle…BDSM. I asked what she liked about it when she gave me a weird look and said, "Girl, what's there NOT to like about it? It's sexy, naughty, lets you live out your fantasies, and not get judged for being sexually crazy.” I'm all into being adventurous in the bedroom and besides, I needed a break from talking to the daddies, so I handed over my phone and watched as my friend downloaded BDSM.com for me.
BDSM.com is the opposite of a dating app where you're typically looking to meet your forever soul mate. It's a kinky, erotic, and sexual site where I can find some really HOTTT sex with no strings attached - unless I happen to like strings LOL! 🤫
BDSM.com says it has 777k+ active members, plus a community with videos, blogs posts… the works. So if you wanna get pulled into the whole BDSM scene, this is where you would go! The types of people you’ll find here are deffff sexually adventurous and bold.
The BDSM dating site happens to be a part of the Friend finder Network (ALT.com is also a part of this network – which is something I’m now curious about trying out!!) The Friend Finder Network is one of the most well known adult entertainment companies out there, so I'd say this site is def legit. Ofc there are spammers on here like other dating sites, so check for "real person" vibes such as a completed profile, gold member, legit looking pics, and links to their other social media accounts.
The BDSM.com sign up process is quick, but there are optional questions to fill out - I suggest doing this so that you and others can be very clear about what you're both looking for. After that, you can scroll around at people's pics, join a community, or watch some live action. It seems to be equal parts exploring/getting sexually inspired and actually finding people to date.
I personally checked out my notifications and messages first, and then it was time to make my wildest fantasies come true!
My first impression of BDSM.com is…dungeony (if that's a word!). The black and red layout is sexy and naughty…and suddenly I'm reaching for my "Fifty Shades of Grey" book. 📚Don’t talk to me unless your name is Christian!
While I'm rereading and revisiting my fantasies, here's what else to know about BDSM.com:
How to deactivate BDSM profile from BDSM.com: I found it pretty easy to deactivate my profile (not that I did!) - here's how to do it:
Is BDSM.com free to use? Yes, yes and yes! There’s a free tier you can use to explore.
Does BDSM.com have a paid membership? Yes daddy! Get more naughty by being a gold member. Upgrade by looking for the yellow box at the bottom of the left corner.
What makes BDSM.com so special? IMO, it was being able to be my freaky self without feeling judged or insecure. It also has a lot of extra content (blog posts, videos) which makes the community factor pretty high.
Can couples use BDSM.com? Yup, you suuuure can! Couples can find other couples, or solo people.
Are there verified profiles on BDSM.com? There is something called “ConfirmID” users can get verified with, to help with legitimacy!
Unfortunately, no there isn't. Andddd in case it wasn't obvi…this is a NSFW site, so if you're tempted to check out the desktop version during your lunch break….just don't!
Not gonna lie, it's been a minute since I had to break out the wine bottle to register for a dating site, but based on some of the BDSM.com reviews I've been seeing… ::breaks out wine bottle::
The first question is about gender and was pleasantly surprised at the inclusive options:
FYI - incase it wasn't clear from the name of the site…BDSM.com is NSFW!
After I choose what I'm looking for, I'm taken to another sign up step, flanked by pics and vids that make it seem almost like a porn site. I feel like the I am/looking for part is redundant since I already answered this question on the homepage, but I'll give BDSM.com the benefit of the doubt here.
Next up, I add my birthdate, country, and zip code.
Thennn, I enter my email, pick a username, and come up with a secure-ish (their password requirements aren't as complex as other sites) password.
Next I fill out my sexual orientation, body type, race, marital status, and role (submissive, dominant, switch, etc.). Loved how there were several inclusive choices!
I create a catchy intro that's required and at least 10 characters long. Even tho it's optional, I write about myself and share something spicy. Love that the BDSM dating site provides tips in case I get writer's block…or winer's block LOL!
Once I click on the activation link, I'm registered before I can even finish my glass of wine! (that's a very good thing btw.) Tho, the wine comes in handy if I want to fill out a more extensive questionnaire on my profile once I'm done signing up - it can be time consuming.
I got my first view of the main feed! First thing I notice is that I already have 1 person who sent me a flirt, 2 who hotlisted me, and 3 messages…before I even add my pic! Not sure if this is a good or bad thing though. The layout is a lil busy, but I don't mind at all because it's got me curious and entertained…
From my personal homepage I could scope out things like my messages/views/interactions, potential matches, member blog posts, different groups (that seem pretty active!), who is online, and member broadcasts (they blurred these for NSFW which was nice, since I felt like I had to peer over my shoulder on this dating site!)
If you hover over your username on the top right, you’ll be able to change the content filters which was an awesome discovery:
If you’re interested in checking out the blog posts btw, you can look at archived ones from BDSM.com before signing up. But to see anything new, you have to go through that sweet and spicy BDSM.com sign up form.
So what can you expect on the profile side of things? First up, there is a lot to modify.
Here’s what my profile looked like overall:
Aside from any pics or vids I uploaded, it lets me add info like,
When it comes to editing my profile, here’s what I found:
I could get ConfirmID, add my kinks, personality type, take a purity test (more on that shortly!) add physical info, and all that good stuff.
The “purity test” was an interesting touch. You can see the kinds of questions they ask, so I'm pretty sure I rate HIGH on the purity scale (no feet worshiping or tongue baths for me!).
This is great tho because it helps you figure out whether or not you’re down with how kinky someone else is compared to you.
There’s also a lot of non-sex related “personality type” questions that you answer with a rating scale of “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree.” There was a TON (this screenshot only captured half the page) so I’ll let you peruse them below.
I cackled at the discount coupon question because I forgot that those used to come in the newspaper! They’re basically always available online now and easy to find.
I was really pleased with the amount of search options I had for free!! Tbh, this was one of the sites that had the most choices I've seen when it comes to search filters.
Did I mention THERE. ARE. SO. MANY. OPTIONS?!! I can't list them all here since there's a ton…but here's a sampling:
You can slice n’ dice the search filters in a ton of diff ways to find your perfect kink buddy.
Yes!! I actually found a lot to do for free on BDSM.com without having to pay a penny. Every relationship has its boundaries though, and this BDSM dating site will let you know when you've reached your limit.
The free membership was so good that I wasn't even tempted to check out the paid subscription…until I tried clicking on a member's profile and was asked to upgrade.
Wondering whether to play it safe or go a little crazy? I'll let you know if it's worth your while…
Here’s what you get if you sign up for the free account vs. one of the paid memberships!
I really enjoyed the free tier for this BDSM dating site cuz there was a lot to check out! The free version definitely left me satisfied while also leaving me curious enough about the paid tiers.
Here's some of what I could do without paying:
This doesn’t seem like alot but exploration-wise, it is. The only thing I didn’t like was not being able to see member profiles like I mentioned earlier bc that’s kind of a big deal.
BDSM.com has two different premium membership plans: Gold and Silver.
It says on the BDSM dating site that free members are unable to contact Silver/Gold members, but I was able to talk to premium members without paying. 🤷♀️
Here is what each package provides:
The cheaper of the two packages is the Silver membership which gives me:
Pricing wise, it’s:
With the Gold membership package, I had access to all of the Silver features, plus:
Pricing wise, it’s:
What you end up going for depends on what you’re into. I tried these out and thought they were great, but I wasn’t all that into the blogs, groups, or magazines after a while so that value didn’t matter to me personally!
The intentions of the BDSM dating site is what sets it apart right off the bat, but here are some extra hot features that caught my attention 🔥:
I really enjoyed the fast-paced, casual dating life over the slow moving, waiting to fizzle out romance for a change. Though I have to say, I was left feeling a little uncertain about some specifics after using it for a while and reflecting on my experience for this BDSM.com review.
Here's what I liked and didn't like about BDSM.com…
Let's just say that BDSM.com knows how to get things steamy. Here's what got me hot and bothered:
Here's what left me wanting more about BDSM.com:
I had a lot to explore before ponying up and trying out the paid memberships as well. But did paying make a difference? I liked being able to view everyone’s profiles and send messages first instead of waiting around or baiting people with my content! But as far as the extra frills, the videos and blog posts weren’t my thing after a while, even tho they were fun and exciting at first.
I think paying for it to try it out is def worth it, and whether you continue to pay is totes up to what you’re looking for and end up enjoying in the community.
Safety wise, you can report any profile that seems spammy or makes you feel unsafe. The only downside is that with a kink-focused community this large and diverse, some users are bound to be a lil’ eccentric and may appear to be spammy at first! But most just wanted to get to know me and seemed legit.
See ya bbs later - I'm gonna get my inner Rihanna on for now and let whips and chains excite me. If my friends are lucky, they’ll get to hear the deets.
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