Finding the right platform in online dating can feel like a never-ending quest for the Holy Grail already. But if you’re on the cusp of being a Gen-Zer and a Millennial, it can feel like finding two Holy Grails. I like a little spice in my relationships but I also want to meet people who may be contenders for that long-term commitment.
As I’m sure you know by now, I’ve been embarking on a journey to explore different dating sites, seeking the perfect balance of fun and authenticity. One name that kept popping up, shrouded in intrigue and controversy, was Ashley Madison. Known for its unconventional approach to relationships, this site claims to cater to individuals seeking discreet affairs and open relationships.
“Life is short. Have an affair.”
Okay, I know that a site where people are looking to have affairs won't be where to find that special someone, but it could be fun! Armed with curiosity and an open mind, I decided to look closely at what Ashley Madison had to offer. Let me first explain how legit this site is, then give you the tldr;
Before delving into the nitty-gritty, addressing the elephant in the virtual room is essential - is Ashley Madison legit? To be honest, its reputation precedes it. Founded in 2001, the site experienced a significant security breach in 2015, exposing millions of users' personal information. Since then, the platform has undergone significant changes to bolster its security and regain trust. While the past cannot be erased, Ashley Madison has learned from its mistakes and tried to provide a more secure and discreet environment for its users.
Of course, like any dating app, it's possible to meet people who may not be who they say they are. If you find an account too good to be true, it may be! Always ask a person to verify that they are who they are, and please, please, never give away private information to a person you don't know.
For those hurrying, here's a brief rundown of Ashley Madison:
Setting up an account on Ashley Madison: This is a really straightforward process and I was pleasantly surprised! I’ll discuss this more in the next section, but it’s essentially frictionless with only an email addy, username and password required.
How to delete Ashley Madison account: If you no longer want to use Ashley Madison, it’s pretty easy to delete your account. Deleting an account will remove your profile from search results, the site, your messages, usage history, personal info, photos and forfeit any remaining credit balances ← This was a big one, as there’s no refund as of right now. On desktop and iOS, you’ll go to your account then click “full deletion.” Unfortunately on Android you’ll have to email them, as you can’t delete it from the app. 😬
Temporarily deactivating your account: This is an enticing option if you want to put pause on your hookup search without deleting your account and forfeiting credits.
Hiding and Unhiding profile: This is a pretty cool feature that not all dating sites or dating apps let you do. If you’re not comfortable being found in the search results (either because you’re being stealthy, or because you’d rather not have everyone contacting you first) you can hide your profile and continue to use the site’s basic features.
What is an AM Pass on Ashley Madison? Unfortunately, this feature has been discontinued, but the AM pass allowed you to verify your identity and prove you were a real person – and this would be displayed on accounts once approved. Not having this takes the trust/safety factor down a bit, and it’s unclear why they removed it.
Now, let me talk about signing up for this bad boy.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I eagerly jumped into the sign-up process. Upon landing on the homepage, I was greeted with a sleek design and a straightforward registration form. Creating an account was surprisingly quick and didn't require extensive personal information like some other dating sites. All I needed was an email address, username, and password.
Once signed up, Ashley Madison encourages users to complete their profiles, providing details about their preferences, interests, and relationship status. While it's not mandatory, having a complete profile can lead to you meeting the hookup of your dreams. I'm not saying you need to bloviate about your life story (it's an affair website, after all). However, having sexy pictures and a tantalizing bio beyond the vanilla and cliche “likes walks on the beach” line can get you the guy or gal you’re wild about, especially in the search results.
Yup! Unlike some other websites, the Ashley Madison app can be used on both iOS and Android – making it the perfect “on the go” hookup platform. In fact, there are certain features like “Traveling Man/Woman” and “Stealth Mode” that make it worth installing the app for discreet affairs.
After setting up my profile, it was time to explore the site's search capabilities. Like any website, Ashley Madison lets you search a person’s age, sex, location, and other basic features. But Ashley Madison's advanced search filters allow users to refine their searches based on attributes such as:
As someone looking for a potential partner or hookup, this
customization level was intriguing and daunting.
It meant I could find someone with the desired traits, but it also highlighted the site's focus on physical appearance, which may not be everyone's cup of tea. Of course, it IS an affair app, and many who seek to have an affair aren't looking for a life partner to be there when looks fade. Of course, having an extensive list of potential connections for casual affairs comes at a price.
One burning question on my mind was whether Ashley Madison offered free services. The app is just like any other modern dating website: it's free to use, but is it really free? Let me explain.
Not quite.
While the site allows users to sign up and create a profile without spending a dime, the free tier is relatively limited in functionality. Communication options are restricted for free users, and to engage in meaningful conversations, a paid subscription is required. So if you want to go anywhere here, you need to pay up. Let's compare both tiers.
While there are a number of intricacies between the free vs. paid accounts on Ashleymadison.com, here’s the quick and dirty on the difference and what to expect.
As a curious explorer, I tried out the free tier. While it was nice to browse profiles and get a feel for the site's interface, I quickly realized that my interactions would be limited without a paid subscription.
Free users can send winks and add others to their favorites list similar to sites like Heated Affairs, but a paid membership is essential to initiate meaningful conversations or access advanced features. So you can let ‘em know there’s potential, but can’t actually take it any further.
To summarize, free tier offers:
The paid tiers provide:
Overall, if you want to get your feet wet, I suggest trying this and then seeing if it’s right for you.
Ashley Madison has three premium tiers:
The Basic package, priced at $59, is an excellent starting point for first-time users who wish to test the waters and get a feel for the site's features. With 100 credits at your disposal, you can dip your toes into the Ashley Madison experience. These credits can be used to initiate conversations, send messages, engage in chats, or even exchange virtual gifts with potential connections. While it may not be sufficient for extensive interactions, the Basic package allows you to explore the site's functionality and decide if it aligns with your dating preferences.
The Classic package, priced at $169, is the most popular option among Ashley Madison users. With 500 credits to play with, you have ample opportunities to engage in meaningful conversations and explore potential connections more extensively. This package allows you to initiate multiple conversations, chat with several individuals, and even exchange contact information with those you find intriguing. If you're serious about finding a compatible match on Ashley Madison, the Classic package offers a more immersive experience.
For those fully committed to their pursuit of meaningful connections on Ashley Madison, the Elite package is the ultimate choice. Priced at $289, this package grants you a substantial 1,000 credits, empowering you to communicate with numerous users and explore the site's premium features. With this robust credit bank, you can take your conversations to a deeper level and increase your chances of making authentic connections. Additionally, the Elite package unlocks an exclusive perk - the "Ashley Madison Premium" that provides 24 hours of free chat and grants you "Priority Man" status, enhancing your profile's visibility in search results.
The “Traveling Man/Woman” Feature
It also unlocked the innovative 'Travelling Man/Woman' feature, allowing me to connect with potential partners in different cities, a helpful tool for frequent travelers like myself.
Discreet Photos
Amid the sea of dating sites, Ashley Madison does boast a unique feature that sets it apart - discreet photos. Users can choose to share private pictures with others, but they have the power to grant access only to specific individuals. This added privacy layer could appeal to those seeking discretion in extramarital affairs. After all, you don’t want to expose yourself to your friend who is also looking for an affair.
This site does offer a bit more to protect users, which is also why many seek out Ashley Madison for their affairs. This extra bit of peace of mind can help users.
This feature is available through iOS and the web. With it, you can receive more messages and have your profile highlighted. When you have competition, this isn’t a bad purchase depending on your commitment.
While there’s quite a few features that sets Ashley Madison apart, these stood out to me.
Stealth Mode
If you have the iOS app, Stealth Mode hides the app icon from the menu. This app is one that you may not want wandering eyes to see, so I do think this is a nice touch.
Hide/Unhide Profile
You can make your profile invisible without deleting it. This works well if
certain people are suspicious that you have a profile, and you can unhide it
once the heat is off.
Unapologetically Niche
One aspect that genuinely differentiates Ashley Madison is its niche audience. The site unapologetically caters to those seeking affairs and open relationships, and its search filters reflect this focus. This specificity can be a strength and a weakness, depending on what one seeks in a potential partner. While it offers a more targeted approach, it might not be the best fit for individuals seeking traditional monogamous relationships.
Ashley Madison is undoubtedly a unique player in the online dating arena, despite (or in spite of) its past. It wears its intentions on its sleeve, catering to a specific audience with a particular purpose. While the site has undergone changes and improvements since its infamous security breach, some users may hesitate to join the platform for safety reasons, which is totally understandable and why I had hesitation at first.
For those open to exploring unconventional relationships, Ashley Madison's search capabilities and discreet photo-sharing feature provide ample opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals. However, it's essential to approach this site with caution and a clear understanding of its intentions. Remember, honesty and open communication are crucial whether you're seeking a traditional romance or an unconventional adventure.
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